I have 2 Starbucks mugs on my desk from mission trips I was priviledged to take. One was from a stopover in London on the way to Russia and the other is from Germany where I visited on the way home from Moldova.
 
Here are some things I try to remember about my trips.
 
The children. They will just melt your hearts. They crave love. Most have suffered abuse in multiple ways, yet they meet you with a curious welcoming smile. God burns their images into your heart. Seeing the kids changes you forever.
 
The poverty. It's unbelievable. It's dirty and smells bad. The desperation is palatable. Jesus had much to say about loving the poor and most Americans will never interface with those whose lives have been devastated by poverty. Experiencing poverty causes you to rethink your priorities and thank God for what you have
 
The Teams. Most of my close friends and family have gone with me. I have lost count of how many trips God has blessed me to go on. From Mexico when I was a teenager to China a year ago, the people that go with you impact your life. The long talks on even longer flights and seeing friends expressions as they take it all in. Changed lives...mine and theirs.
 
The Sister Churches. Just can't say enough about them and their hospitality. The smiles and hugs...I've had a few elderly Russian women kiss me on the cheek so hard I swear it left a mark! I will always remember the baptisms and church services. The communion service where ONE chalice was passed around to about 30 people (yes I drank out of it). These experiences have been a microcosm of what heaven will be like as we worship together and understand each other.
 
Two mugs...lots of reminders. Not sure where and when again but I will go on another trip and I'll fall in love with more children, be inspired to push back against poverty, make new friends for life, and connect with my brothers and sisters abroad.
 
Sent from my iPhone

If you came to my desk today this is part of what you would see...it is all intentional.
 
In between the coffee mugs is a laminated copy of the program for the first funeral I ever offitiated. It was on 8/7/09 for a friend of mine named David. David took his own life at the age of 41. I have never known anyone who put more effort into a marriage. His wife had cheated on him several times but he kept going the extra mile to make it work. Finally after multiple betrayals, the pain became too great and he snapped. To this day I still think about David and wonder if I could have made more of a difference. I know David is with Jesus today and that his family misses him dearly.
 
Why have I kept this reminder for 9 years? It's because it serves as a reminder to me that pain is real and has the potential to kill. I was the first person to go into the house after they took David's body away. It was terrible. There, open on David's desk was his checkbook. Undoubtedly the failed rationship, financial pressure, living with his parents, and work pressure was too much. I miss him as I write this.
 
We never know what is going on deep down inside someone's mind and heart. God wants to use the pain in my life to teach me and make me more like Jesus. The enemy want to use pain to discourage me and take me out. Either way it's real and it just plain stinks. So, take relationships serious. Make the most of the opportunities to encourage and make a difference in the lives of those you come in touch with. Be intentional.
 
Sent from my iPhone

Today is a surreal day. I'm in Sprinfield, MO, almost 3 weeks into my new job as a service delivery manager for TeleTech (teletechcom). People are currently at my house in PA packing up our things (a huge thanks to all of you). I could not get away to help because of my new job.

 Been feeling a lot of anxiety and sadness today. I can't get my arms around all that I've lost. To be honest, "the best is yet to come" feels like a load of crap right now...just saying.

 I feel like I've lost so much it is difficult to stay focused on what I still have. I got to live in my dream house, with my dream family, work my dream job with my dream team, live near where I grew up with my favorite teams...had the best church family any pastor could hope to have.

 Now most of my dreams seem gone and it seems as if I have lost the will/ability to dream. Gotta be honest...kind of hating life right now. At least now there will be some finality to this new stage of life.

 So there you have it...raw and real. I feel as if I have lost my voice that God gave me. I won't be blogging for a while...just not that much to say.

 Not looking for sympathy or feedback...just wanted to put this out there. Pray that this season of healing and mourning will go as God wants it to go. Pray that I won't sucumb to self pity and that I wi wait patiently to what God has for me. I still work for him and serve at his pleasure...

 Thanks to those who helped and contributed to our move and more importantly the love that you poured into my family. I will be eternally grateful.

 Sent from my iPhone

To everything there is a season, a time for every person under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

 Last night I was talking to my 11 year old Drew. He said "dad, at camp they said everything happens for a reason and that God has a purpose for us in those plans.". Sounded pretty good so far...so I agreed ..."that's right son."

 Then Drew said, "Dad, I like our plans better than God's plans. He is probably taking us to MO to reach people brt I think we can reach people at "our" churc!"

 I agreed with him somewhat. I told him that I felt very much like he did...especially on Sundays. Sundays are bittersweet for me. God never calls us to like his plans but he does admonish us to trust him and obey. That is what I am seeking to do today...trust and obey.

 Sent from my iPhone

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, and write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3
 
A couple thoughts on this verse...
 
Is there love in my heart today? If so, what visible expressions of love have I made.
 
What am I called to be faithful to?
• My God
• Michelle
• My kids
• My beliefs
• My Eagles/phillies
 
How am I incorperating them into the fabric of my life? Do I project love and faithfulness to those around me? Good questions for all of us...
 
 
Sent from my iPhone

I heard today that Fellowship Church has had 138 applications for lead pastor. That's double the amount of people we had 8 years ago. I'm excited about who God has to be the new leader and praying for him.

 Sent from my iPhone